This post will be more personal than other post of mine since this is the topic that I refuse to talk for a long time ago but now I decide it's better to put your thought into your words so you don’t have to overthinking it anymore. Well, so it is. This post will be just about a man like me or maybe like you too. Who knows I am not the only one who feel this? :) #Fingercrossed
I will start this post with an apology. I am sorry. Sorry to society, my colleagues, my workmates, my juniors, my seniors, and to all people who know me. I am sorry for choosing to not follow your rules. Sorry for not playing as written in the guidelines of society. Sorry to not be a man like you think I should, but I have the reason for it. So please listen.
Sorry for lack of skills in sport (except swimming cause I am good at it), especially in soccer since this is the sport that define you as a MAN or not. Sorry for simply don't have interest in it. When you ask why, it's like do you want to eat a food that taste awful? I don't even know why I don't like it but most part of it is because I think soccer is ridiculous. 20 people running around a field just to kick a ball? LOL.
Sorry for not having skills to be a Cassanova a.k.a Playboy a.k.a Don Juan a.k.a Ladies Man and I am just a miserable lonely guy (as you thought I am but i am really not). Sadly, this is how most of you judge a man is MAN enough or not. Sorry for me to feel and respect woman that makes me didn't want to hurt them. Sorry for me who can't ignore women feelings. Sorry for me who can't just simply dumped a woman and find the new one in the next day. Sorry for me who don't see women just as a 'thing', things that you can brag and just for fulfilling your 'Man side'. Sorry for me who can't having an affair with 3 women in the same time. Sorry for me who sucks talking with woman and sorry for me who is listen to woman when they talk, opening the door for them, and just treat them as they're the most beautiful thing in this world :) (fact: woman is one of the greatest GOD's creation)
Sorry for not having muscle as strong as you are. I know, this is one of the criteria to define how MANLY you are. So please forgive me because I am not as strong as MAN that you know. Sorry for converting my muscle power to brain power. Sorry for choosing reading books than playing soccer. Sorry for choosing picking up study material than picking up girls. Sorry for having great skills in hand craft than fixing machines.
Sorry for always looks nice wherever I am. I know, MANLY MAN is always looks whatever he wants. Untidy smell shirt, jeans, untucked shirt, and just sneakers is a must. Sorry for always use ironed shirt, nice pants, some waistcoat or vest or scarf and some loafers, moccasins or dress shoes instead of always sneakers. Sorry for all the dress-up things. I just taught by my religion to always looks nice wherever and whenever you are because GOD loves beautiful things. So sorry for that.
I have been bullied for years during my school years just because of this. I have been called as a faggot, a sissy, and even gay just because i act like me. I have been called with that since 3rd grade. But you know what? It doesn't affect me at all. Even just a tiny bit they don’t stand a chance to hurt me just with those words. I know deep inside me that I am not like what they said and I am literally laughing my *ss off whenever they called me names. Haha.. How great nostalgic is.
So the point is, if I can't be called a man because of those "mistakes" of mine, so be it. If because some qualities that I have right now makes me called as fag, queer, sissy, or gay, So be it. Call me with that, I am serious. Because if I have to play soccer, have the ability to hurt woman, having more than one girlfriends, always thinks about power and muscles to be called as a man, I definitely don't want to be a man anymore in this world. Thank you for even offering that. In my version, a man is man. You can't judge a man based on the some ridiculous criteria. So what if my brother really into fashion designing? Is he's not a man? What if my father really good at cooking and sewing? Is he gay? What if my grandfather was used to be a dancer? Is he's a fake man too? A man is a man, no matter what traits he has. If someone define them self as a man, so he Is a man. End of the story. At the end of the day I just wanna be a man like me, if that doesn't feel manly enough for you, I am deeply sorry for that (again) :)
Have a good day everyone, cheers!